Dear United States,
We’ve been traveling in and out of your borders now for more than 15 months. We’ve lived on three continents, visiting more than 20 countries. Along the way, we’ve picked up some habits that won’t be considered “normal” or “acceptable” back inside the homeland. As we prepare to come back once again, this time for the longest visit since leaving in August 2012, we must apologize in advance for the transgressions we know we’ll unwittingly commit. So, by country we’ve lived in, please excuse:
Brazil
1. Our constant beeping of the car horn. We’re not angry at you other drivers, really, we just want you to know we’re there or we’re coming to make an extra lane because there’s space between you and that semi. Just beware the long car horn, then we’re angry.
2. If we look at disgust at the packaged and processed fruit juices in the grocery store. Where is the coconut water or fresh watermelon juice?
3. Our visible disappointment at the mainland beaches. After Brazil, you really just can’t compare.
4. If our bathing suits seem a bit inappropriate for public use, especially in front of children.
Switzerland
5. Us just saying it: the chocolate sucks.
6. Us as we lament about the lack of good public transportation. What do you mean Amtrack is late?
7. If we forget and start to fill up our water bottle at a outdoor fountain, please stop and remind us where we are.
8 . If we flip out on you for playing music or having a TV on, talking loudly, or even taking a shower after 10 p.m. Respect the quiet hours!
China
9. If we invade your personal space. We’ve kind of forgotten what those parameters are anymore.
10. If we forget to wait for you to exit a subway car or taxi or we shove and push you in a crowd, elbows out. We don’t mean it personally, you’re just in our way, we’re in a hurry, and we don’t notice your existence.
11. Our lax standards on sanitation. The dish has a hair in it? Just one? It’s still good. You dropped a utensil on the floor? A piece of candy? Haven’t you heard of the five 10 20-second rule?
12. If we don’t wait for you, the pedestrian, in a crosswalk. Don’t you know we, in our banged-up Pontiac or on our rusted moped, have the right-of-way? We will hit, or at least bump, you.
United States, you’re our home, and we’ll will always love you. It’s really not you, it’s us. We’ve just come to love so many others. Please forgive us if we offend you. We do, though, look forward to seeing you again soon.
Sincerely,
Chris & Monica
P.S.
As we make the transition from six-month stints to a more permanent stay somewhere, we’ll be taking a few weeks off from the blog with a trip to Tibet thrown in the mix. We’ll be posting again Jan. 8, 2014. Happy Holidays!
