See that photo there to the right? Great photo, right? That’s the Grossmünster Church in Zürich overlooking a canal from Lake Zürich. This is a favorite spot of mine in the city – nice, peaceful and great for people watching (see all the tourists on the bridge?). What you don’t see in that photo is the man standing about 5 feet to my left masturbating.
The sexual harassment incident
I spent yesterday in Zürich on business with meetings scheduled throughout the day. After a late lunch, I had some free time until my next appointment.
It was such a lovely fall day with just a touch of chill in the air – my favorite days. I was walking about the city, and I wanted to capture the day in a photo for my Instagram. I thought the Grossmünster would be the perfect iconic shot.
I crossed the bridge and positioned myself in the crook of a wall and a statue. There were lots of tourists around, stopping and snapping photos.
Again, I’m a pretty oblivious traveler, so I wasn’t paying much attention to the people around me as I was positioning my shot. I was waiting for my phone to work, trying to capture the best angle. I was probably standing there for about 10 minutes before I noticed a white man in a black hoodie about 5 feet to my left. What caught my attention about him was he was angling his body toward me and looking back over his shoulder at me.
As I looked down at my phone, I took a peek out of the corner of my eye to see his penis was fully out of his pants and he was fondling himself.
He had taken a position up against the wall so he was directing his activity toward me where no one else could see it. I got pissed.
It was obvious he was wanting me to react; he wanted me to acknowledge him. I continued looking down at my phone, but I began discreetly looking around for a police officer. My first thought was if there was a cop, I would scream and make a scene, hoping he would be caught in the act. No such luck as there were no officers in sight.
My second thought was I should just go ahead and scream. Embarrass him, make him run off, but I knew he wanted some kind of reaction like that. With only tourists around, I didn’t think anyone would be in the position to do anything about the situation.
Finally, I decided to ignore it, and this is where I get pissed at myself. Now with 24 hours passed, I keep thinking I should have done more. I had an umbrella in my bag with an expandable handle. Why didn’t I take it out and beat the sick bastard with it? The wall he was up against was a half wall that keeps you from falling into the canal. If I had been quick enough, I could have rushed him and pushed him over it into the water. At the very least, why didn’t I make some witty comeback?
After a couple of minutes more as I continued to battle with myself about what to do, he took a step toward me. At this time, I was still doing a pretty good job of acting completely engrossed in my phone. I never looked up at him or made eye contact. I decided to get away. I acted as if I had finished whatever I was doing on my phone, spun away from him and walked off down the street.
As I passed by him, I heard him make an exasperated sigh. The only upperhand I felt in the situation was that I did the exact opposite of what he wanted. He wanted acknowledgement, and as far as he knew, he was Mr. Invisible to me.
I got halfway down the street before I turned to see if he was still there. He, of course, was nowhere to be seen. As luck would have it, I then saw two police officers further down the street. I thought about reporting the incident, but what good could I do? I had never even looked at his face, and the only description I could give was a white man in a black hoodie. I passed the officers and kept walking to my next appointment. Another empowerment opportunity missed.
The reality of women’s travel rights
I’m writing this post pissed off and just a few hours before I’m releasing it. Probably not one of my best decisions. I’ve tried to talk myself out of it; I even had another post scheduled for today.
This is not a “I hate men” or “All men suck” post, and I’m completely against the trivialization of women sexually harassing men. (This is also not meant to be a series of “Why travel sucks” as last week’s post was about travel scams.) The reality, though, is women face a whole set of dangers in travel men do not even have to consider.
If I pose the question to our worktrotters how many times something like this has happened to them, I’m sure the women with these experiences will far outweigh the men. (Please share your thoughts in the comments.)
It’s not fair, it sucks, but it’s the reality we face.
So, what are my rights as a woman traveler?
My right: I have the right to walk around a city without fear of some jerk jacking off on or near me.
My reality: Even in just the 24 hours since the incident, I’m watching any man that gets in a 10-foot radius of me and especially where his hands are.
My right: I have the right to wear whatever I want without fear of bringing unwanted attention.
My reality: I have to carefully consider my outfit, ensuring it’s not too revealing to bring leering looks or catcalls on the streets. Apparently anything I wear can bring unwanted harassment as I was in a conservative business outfit yesterday.
My right: I have the right to chat nicely with a local I meet.
My reality: Shortly after the incident, a local man tried to strike up a conversation with me on the street. I was borderline rude to him as all I could think about was if he was trying something underhanded, like possibly flashing me.
What can you do to support women’s travel rights?
Though this was my first experience with public exposure, it’s unfortunately not my first experience with sexual harassment, and I’m afraid it won’t be my last. I know the reality I live in, I know I have to be aware and responsible for my own safety. With that said, though, we can all support women’s travel rights through action.
1. Speak up
Share your experiences. There are several social media campaigns and more online to address the situation. Help others know what to be aware of and shame those that do these despicable acts.
2. Don’t blame the victim
Women don’t invite harassment by wearing short skirts or being alone. The responsibility lies at the feet of the harasser. Place blame where it’s due.
3. Don’t condone the behavior
If your friend is committing a sexual harassment act, tell him to stop. It’s not OK, it’s not funny. Stand up to the harassment. If it happens to you, don’t laugh about it, don’t shrug it off. Face it, see it for what it is, and call it out.
4. Report it
Finally, and something I wish I would have done yesterday, report the harassment. Maybe I wouldn’t have been able to give a viable description of Mr. Invisible, but at least the police would have known there was someone in the city doing this. I’m sure I’m not the only woman this bastard has done this to, and maybe my report could help establish a pattern.
What travel rights do you have?
For the past 24 hours, I’ve been racking my brain of what I should have done, what I could have done. Got an opinion? Let me know.
I would also love to hear your stories. What travel rights do you hold dear? Have they been violated?
-Monica
